Testo Hurt Myself

I can't make you pray for me now
Don't need your sympathy, I
Just want the love that I deserve when
All I do is Hurt Myself

I been tryin to hide but I know it's just a matter of time until I break down
All the stress that I hold too much weight now
Got these pills I don't really wanna take But it feels like I walk in the devils playground
Rain clouds in the head too often
Brain dead in the bed that's a coffin
Havin thoughts of the head blown off every time that I close my eyes, NO STOP IT
I don't think that anyone gets it so I don't wanna tell anybody what really goin on in my head I just wanna be alone and listen to the music and let it tell me the way I need to feel so I don't think I'm defective
It's getting worse everyday that'll pass
Getting too high I just wait for the crash
Started when I met my dad and then he left again abandonment the only thing I expect and can't dream when I'm in a nightmare
Everything goes wrong, what do I care?
Tryin to grab happiness cause it's right there
But I slips thru the grip and it's gone in an instant, a misfit, insisting on always tryin to fit in
Got a need for the love but for me I don't give shit
Enemies wanna see me fall and I feel like I'm at the last resort and bout to give in...

Churches start to feel like prison cells Cause everybody'd rather judge than help
I can't make you pray for me now
Don't need your sympathy, I
Just want the love that I deserve when
All I do is Hurt Myself

Just tell me I'm okay
Tell me this is life and it'll all work out in the long run
If it's not true, lie to me cause I need some hope to help me out when the hearts shut
Detached I barely feel alive
Tell me this is all worth the pain and time
I been slippin now, barely got the grip
Where is all the friends who said they would stick by me?
Look into the eyes, see, right into the soul weighed down so heavy but I'm highly emotional, but never vulnerable the bandwidth too much bout to overload or overdose, no one close when I got something inside I really hate and wanna cut and let it bleed out
Hard to let in the light, when there's a critic inside, that won't stop speaking up, bringing me down
Feeling like I'm in a battle with 2 different people inside of me
The ones who been trying to hold me together is not the one who's in the drivers seat
I've got this need to escape to the point where I'm sick of my f'n sobriety
Losing my footing, and I wish somebody would tell me that I'll be okay if I try to be

Churches start to feel like prison cells
Cause everybody'd rather judge than help
I can't make you pray for me now
Don't need your sympathy, I
Just want the love that I deserve when
All I do is Hurt Myself