Testo Happy New Year

Mark
Pan to the padlocked door. New Year's rocking eve. The
breaking-back-into-the-building party...

Mimi
How long till next year?

Roger Three and half minutes...

Mimi
I'm giving up my vices
I'm going back - back to school
Eviction or not
This week's been so hot
That long as I've got you
I know I'll be cool
I couldn't crack the love code, dear
'Til you made the lock on my heart explode
It's gonna be a happy new year
A happy new year

Mark Coast is clear
You're supposed to be working
That's for midnight
Where are they?
There isn't much time

Mimi
Maybe they're dressing
I mean what does one wear that's apropos
For a party - that's also a crime

Maureen
Chips, anyone?

Mark
You can take the girl out of Hicksville
But you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl

Maureen
My riot got you on TV
I deserve a royalty

Mimi
Be nice you two
Or no god awful champagne

Maureen
Don't mind if I do
No luck?

Roger
Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain
A total dead end

Maureen
Just like my ex-girlfriend
(on cellular phone)
Honey...?
I know you're there ...
Please pick up the phone
Are you okay?
It's not funny
It's not fair
How can I atone?
Are you okay?
I lose control
But I can learn to behave
Give me one more chance
Let me be your slave
I'll kiss your Doc Martens
Let me kiss your Doc Martens
your every wish I will obey
(Joanne enters)

Joanne
That might be okay
Down girl
Heel...stay
I did a bit of research
With my friends at legal aid
Technically, you're squatters
There's hope
But just in case

Mark & Joanne
Rope!

Mark
We can hoist a line --

Joanne
To the fire escape --

Mark & Joanne
That bench!

Maureen
I can't take them as chums

Joanne
Start hoisting...wench

Roger
I think I should be laughing
Yet I forget
Forget how to begin
I'm feeling something inside
And yet I still can't decide
If I should hide
Or make a wide open grin
Last week I wanted just to disappear
My life was dust
But now it just may be a happy new year
A happy new year
(Collins enters with Angel)

Collins
Bond - James Bond

Angel
And Pussy Galore - in person

Mimi
Pussy - you came prepared

Angel
I was a boy scout once
And a brownie
'Til some brat got scared

Collins
Aha! Moneypenny - my martini!

Mimi
Will bad champagne do?

Roger
That's shaken - no stirred

Collins
Pussy - the bolts

Angel
Just say the word!

Mimi
Two minutes left to execute our plan

Collins
Where's everyone else?

Roger
Playing Spiderman

Mark
Ironic close up: tight
On the phone machine's red light
Once the Boho boys are gone
The power mysteriously comes on